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leave your stepping stones behind


"

Here’s something you don’t know about me yet: I have one page in my Moleskine dedicated to each person who has ever made me feel something worth writing about. It’s where I tuck people neatly away when I don’t know how else to make sense of them- where I unload the disheveled cluster of feeling that flutters around sometimes in the hollow of my implacable chest. Yours is blank. I haven’t figured out how to reduce all the things I think you mean to me into strings of almost-as-colorful words yet, but I feel like when I do they will be happy ones, maybe, like warmth and light and dawn and dancing, and I know you’re going to be my favorite page, just like you’re my favorite touch and my favorite whisper and my favorite kiss. 

Here’s something you don’t know about me yet: I abhor uncertainty. It seeps down into my chest and ties my insides in queasy knots. I’m sorry in advance if I’m impatient sometimes, if I’m melodramatic, I just don’t function very well playing around with ambiguity and maybe that’ll help you understand why I’m having such a hard time sleeping lately. I used to be one of those girls who needed to watch myself bleed to feel in control and now I bleed words into weathered notebooks instead, but I don’t have any words for you, not even the kinds of words that radiate desperate anticipation like wishing and wanting and waiting- and, well, it’s just hard for a girl who writes to make sense of something she can’t turn into poetry.

Here’s something you don’t know about me yet: I will dissect you in every way that you can imagine. It’s a consequence of making me feel something worth writing about. One of these days when I figure out how to contain your multitudes in a wine-soaked ramble about lips finding frantic lips I will scribble you into that Moleskine and your every atom will become an adjective-noun combination like hearty-laugh steady-fingers dangerous-smile. I have to do it, I have to tuck you neatly away on your designated page to carry around with me where you’re safe outside the confines of my restless heart, otherwise all the things I think you mean to me will swell like balloons until they no longer fit in the hollow of my chest and then things could get messier than we’ve already managed to make them.

Here’s something you don’t know about me yet: I have a page with your name on it and it looks like this, and I don’t think I’m anywhere close to making sense of you. Sometimes it’s hard to breathe with all the fluttering that goes on and I’m scared of the way that my tired little heart is swelling. Next time I see you I’m going to try harder, I’m going to drown myself in your touch and your whisper and your kiss, I’m going to explore your body and your mind and collect adjective-noun combinations. There’s a masterpiece in there somewhere, there’s lyrical sentiment fit for scribbling into weathered notebooks, I know there is. Hold me while I wander in and out of your soul. If I seem to peruse every inch of you with my eyes and my lips and my fingertips don’t be alarmed- I’m just searching for the poetry.

"

will you stick around long enough to figure out the rest? (by Autumn Jade)


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3


"

Make me laugh with the gritty tickle of your sandpaper chin on my ear, I dare you. You won’t make me fall for you. I’ve been there and done that, and this time I’m holding on until all my fingers are broken.

Catch the skin inside my thighs between your teeth. Move your tongue in lazy circles, explore every inch. Make me shiver. You’ll never make me need it, I don’t need you, I don’t need anyone. It’s me against the world.

Use me. Bring your passion and your bourbon kisses into my monochrome world, open me up to all the colors of your desire. Use me and leave me grey again, take a little piece to remember me by after you get bored of this game that we’re playing. You aren’t going to make me cry. You can try your hardest, but you’ll never get a single tear out of me.

Take me naked into your arms and fall asleep with your arm draped lazily across my ribcage. Whisper your soft violent nothings in my ear, go ahead. Set my intentions on fire. I know how this story ends.

Make my body crave your touch. Infect my dreams, I don’t care. I swear you can’t make my heart feel a damn thing.

"

i’ll be damned if I’m going to let a stupid thing like love ruin me this time. (by Autumn Jade)


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3


bbabybluebird:

Hey guys, i’ve moved. I’m trying to make my tumblr more personal- there will still be pictures and quotes, but it’s going to have lot more of my personal writing. Go forth and follow me there if you’re interested, please! :) Thanks <3



Autumn. 24. ohio. nurse. mommy. vegan. atheist. bisexual. feminist. dreamer. bleeding-heart liberal hippie. formerly fucked up but mostly okay now. i read geeky things. i like animals more than people. i have weird fetishes. i sing pretty much constantly. if it has vintagey floral print and/or a peter pan collar, i will buy it. i need medication to get through most days. i put salsa on everything. i want to learn to play the violin better and live in a forest and wear flowers in my hair. i have a love/hate relationship with shoes. if i weren't a human, i would be a red fox, or a mermaid. i think whales are the most beautiful and amazing creatures on this earth. i could live in my bathtub as long as there were bubbles. i drink too much soda and smoke too many cigarettes, and my car is a fucking disaster. i fall in love easily and usually get hurt but i refuse to stop doing it. i believe in reckless abandon, i believe in radical self-love, and i'm gonna change the world someday, even if it's only for the people whose lives i have the pleasure of touching. it's a hell of a universe and i plan to make the most of it. <3





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